Don't get me wrong - I love these children dearly and always will, but if I have to say any of the following things one more time, I may have to end my own life:
"Don't hit your brother. Stop hitting your brother. STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER. I SAID, STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER! STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!"
"Sit down. No, over here. Here. I said here. Over here. Not over there, over here. No, HERE."
"Put that down. No, put it down. Put it down. Put it down where you found it, not on the floor. Put it DOWN. No, DOWN. PUT IT DOWN NOW. I said NOW. PUT IT DOWN...."
"If you do that one more time, you're getting a time out. I mean it."
"Catch up to us, honey. Catch up to us. CATCH UP. Stop lagging back there and catch up. I want you next to me, not behind me. CATCH UP CATCH UP CATCH UP... What part of 'next to me' is so hard??? I said CATCH UP."
This is how I spend part of my time. The rest of the time, I'm pushing a stroller with approximately 50 items hanging from it, including, but not limited to:
- The scooter that the Diva insisted he would use and love and care for until time stood still and the world ended (not his actual words), and then after five minutes of riding it announced that he was too tired to go on;
- The little beach chair that the Daredevil found at the corner drugstore on sale for two dollars and begged me to buy, and which he then immediately proceeded to use as a potentially lethal weapon on anyone who came near him;
- Various edible items, some of which are intended for me, but of which I will probably only get to eat one third before the other two thirds are claimed, others of which will be partially eaten and then abandoned;
- Whatever book I am currently reading, of which I will get to read one page before someone requests something to eat, falls down and requires minor medical attention (Disney-themed Band Aids, kisses, reassurance that the injured body part in question is, in fact, fine), announces that they have to go to the bathroom immediately, or requests that I be "It" in a game of freeze tag;
- Several DVDs from the local library, featuring characters such as "Elmo" and "Dora," "Bob," etc., all of which are destined to be replaced with similar items almost as soon as they're returned. There could be 3 DVDs in that bag, there could be 30. I'm usually too tired to count them, and;
- Wet wipes. There are not enough wet wipes in this world. There never will be.
I've realized that I will be ready very soon to go back to working with other adults, although part of the reason I was willing to try nannying was that I felt like I'd spent so much of my working life babysitting adults that nannying couldn't be much different. In some ways it isn't, although I have to admit that at no time did my former boss ask me to wipe his nose for him (I wouldn't have put it past him, though). And there is something about getting a detailed project or task done on short notice and getting it done well that can be very gratifying.
On the other hand, there are going to be many moments I'll miss after this summer. No adult boss could ever make me feel the way the Daredevil did one night after he'd given me hell about going to bed. He'd run, fought, climbed, yelled, kicked, shrieked, and giggled until we were both exhausted. Finally I sat down on the couch with him, got out my iPod nano, and let him cuddle up with me while we listened to all the most relaxing music I could find.
We listened to Sinatra, Sara Bareilles, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Sarah McLachlan, and Tracy Chapman. But it wasn't until we listened to Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini" that he asked, "What was that?"
I told him, and then I asked, "Did you like it?"
He looked up at me, snuggled into my lap a little further, took his thumb out of his mouth and said, "Yes - it's beautiful." Then he popped the thumb back in and asked to hear it again.
He fell asleep shortly after that and I tucked him into bed, the Diva having fallen asleep about an half an hour before.
I made sure they were both safe and secure, and I thought the same thing I've thought since I first held them when they were babies, the first time they fell asleep in my arms, the first time I saw them light up when they recognized me - the thought that no boss and no office will ever merit -
I will love you forever, wherever you go.
That, I'll miss.
The stroller, not so much.
